I Can See Clearly Now

[allizon]

Originally published at my site. You can comment here or there.

When I was a kid, my dad always used to say that I had rectumsitis: I can’t see for shit. I started wearing glasses when I was nine years old, and in all likelihood, I needed them before that; my prescription was fairly advanced when I got that first pair of glasses. For almost thirty years, I’ve required corrective lenses of some kind to be able merely to function in the world, my vision was so bad.

But at about three o’clock yesterday afternoon, that changed.

I had LASIK surgery performed at the Selkin Laser Center here in Greensboro. I walked in, agreed to give Dr. Selkin a small fortune (but a smaller fortune than it would have required even just a few years ago), had a routine eye exam, waited for a bit, then underwent an uncomfortable (but not painful, not at all) surgical procedure… and now I can see.

(If you’re reading this and wondering why I didn’t tell you about it before I had the procedure done: I didn’t tell anybody. The only person who knew I was going in to have it done was Terry — I didn’t even tell my praents. I wasn’t sure I was actually going to be able to get it done, whether because of financing or because my eyes just weren’t right for it or what have you, so I tried to minimize my potential disappointment by keeping it secret. It would’ve hurt worse if I found out I couldn’t get my eyes fixed and I had to go back and explain to everyone why it couldn’t happen.)

I’m sitting at my computer, staring at my screen without glasses or contact lenses, and I can easily read every character I’m typing. Had I tried this yesterday morning, I’d have see nothing but a blurry mass of colors. I can read small print on the poster on the wall opposite me, could read small text from across Kelsey’s kindergarten classroom at the open house we just went to — text Terry was struggling to read from the same distance, and she has pretty good vision.

Before the procedure, my visual acuity was probably somewhere in the 20/500 or more range (I asked what the exact number was, but the assistant rattled off a string of numbers which meant nothing to me and, I’m sure, everything to the eye doctor). Now, it should be 20/20 in my left eye and probably 20/25 in my right — because of an astigmatism in my right eye, it couldn’t get quite down to 20/20. But if you think after thirty years of glasses that I’ll complain even a little about having 20/25 vision in one eye, you’re nuts.

I feel like a chain which has been holding me down has been severed, a chain which had bound me for so long I’d almost stopped noticing the chain was there. Nothing I’ve written here has properly conveyed the enormity of what all of this means to me, which means you can count on follow-up posts as the reality of having good vision sinks in. But I just wanted to take the time to shout it out to the world:

I can see.

Comments

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Whoa. DUDE. This is HUGE.

You have a lot more guts than I do; my vision is around 20/700 and I can't bring myself to have the surgery done. I'm just scared, frankly, and would rather keep the vision I have than risk losing more of it. I know that it isn't really that risky anymore, but still, SCARED.

I'll be very interested in hearing about your experiences; you're the thrid person I know who's had it done *this year*.

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

Whoa. DUDE. This is HUGE.

Man, you ain't kiddin'. :)

It's funny, but it doesn't feel like it took any guts at all... I wanted my eyes fixed so badly* that I was never afraid of the procedure. (Until it started, when I was all WHOAHOLYFUCK, but that was more an emotional reaction than a physical one.)

I'm sure I'll be writing about it much more in the days weeks to come, so maybe I can help get your nerve up to get it done if'n ya want. :)

[winged-faerie.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow! So cool! Yay for you. Obviously not much of a recovery time - what did you have to do after the surgery?

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

After surgery, I came home and chilled out. That was it. I relaxed in bed, listened to my iPod, and did a whole bunch of nothin' -- all the stuff I'd normally want to do to relax involves things like staring at the computer, and I couldn't really do that until Sunday. So nothing it was. :)

[blk]

I absolutely, positively understand your joy, and congratulations many times over.

And some unasked for advice, because i'm good at that: let your eyes recover at their own rate. Computer screens and reading small text are hard on the eyes. Sleeping is the best thing you can do, so take all the opportunity you can for naps.

Yay! :)

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

I absolutely, positively understand your joy, and congratulations many times over.

Thanks, blk! Y'know, I had your stories of your LASIK experience (and that very icon you're using there) going through my head during the last week before getting this done -- but I hadn't gone back and found your entries to re-read, so thanks for linking them here!

I also heeded your advice -- while normally I probably would've spend a couple or few hours on the computer last night working on stuff, I kept that pretty limited so I could rest my eyes up a little, knowing that I'd be spending all day today looking at code.

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

Congrats!

I had this done 7 years ago, and I still wake up and hunt for my glasses, sometimes, before I remember that I can see.

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

Heh! So far, I've only tried to push my glasses up on my nose twice, but I'm sure that number'll grow quite a bit before I'm used to not wearing them anymore. :)

[naiad.livejournal.com]

Instead of looking for my glasses when I wake up, for years I would pat my face after turning out the light by my bed, trying to take off my glasses. I was in about the 20/600 range, and I wore glasses for 30 years too, so I know how you feel :) :)

[I won't mention how just a few months ago I had to get glasses, because over the last 6 years my vision deteriorated, as it likely would have done whether or not I'd had LASIK. But the prescription is so mild, it was still totally worth it!]

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

I fully expect that in a few years, I'll need reading/computer glasses... and I'm totally fine with that. There's a world of difference (as you obviously know) between needing glasses to make some things easier and needing them merely to exist. If I've gotta wear reading glasses in a few years, so be it. :)

[rakizi.livejournal.com]

Wow! Awesome man, so happy for you that you were able to get it done. I've never worn glasses and have always had 20/20 vision, so i can't even imagine what it's like wearing glasses and not being able to see.

Congratz

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's one of things I think you just can't appreciate if you've always had good vision. All I gotta say is: don't take your vision for granted! Appreciate and celebrate your perfect eyes... do something nice for 'em sometimes, just so you don't piss 'em off and make them decide to go bad on you. :)

[ghislaine.livejournal.com]

Oh cool!!! That's great. Really happy for ya!

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Steph! Yeah, it's a pretty damn happy-me-making experience. :)

[beah.livejournal.com]

YAY!!! I'm so glad you're so happy!

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon! It truly was nice to get a Big Happy after The Year of Continued Suck. :)

[veracity1.livejournal.com]

Yay! I had it done about seven years ago when the proceedure was more involved, and I have never felt regret.

And yes, take it easy on the recovery. One of the things that really bothered me for the first week to ten days were the halos around lights, especially driving at night. They went away in time.

Isn't it nice to wake up in the morning and be able to see?

[badlittlemonkey.livejournal.com]

I've got the halos right now, and yesterday morning I still had the haziness over everything (everything was sharp, but like looking through a very, very mild fog). That's mostly gone away now, and hopefully, as you said, the halos should be easing up over the next week or so.

And yes, very nice to just get out of bed and see without fumbling for my glasses... especially when the little one was up at 3 in the morning. :)